Not so bad...

Josh Holloway before he was LOST...

Josh...nowadays...more of him at Josh Holloway Fan

Ian Somerhalder...those killer eyes... [Miss M and Laney, this one's for you...]

He turned 20-something yesterday. Haberday your highness. Hope you're behaving. Heee. [this is one of my fave pix of him...nice no?]

Ok, been at this page for a few hours now and I'm still here...was just piddling around the new upload pix thingy here at blogger.

I want to vent about stuff around here at home. Hmmmm. It's quite hard being the eldest [or is it oldest?] in the family, for some reason, I feel responsible when something is needed to be done around the house. I can only do so much though. I wish I could do more but I can't. Frustrating at times.

We have a 13-year-old gurl [let's call her Lyn]who's been living with us since the school started back in June. She's a cousin of sorts. My motherdear brought her here from the province coz her parents can't afford to put her to school. She's a highschool freshman. She's an ok girl. Just having a hard time adjusting to living with a kid around the house. When she first arrived here, I was rather surprised coz my motherdear didn't even told us. Or maybe she did I just wasn't told about it. My SisterM was about to leave for Dubai at that time. I was told that Lyn will be sleeping in SisterM's bed once she leaves for Dubai. I was against it, told my motherdear why Lyn can't sleep in their room instead. She rambled on and on that she will not be minding me and all. She will just be sleeping there. I just kept quiet about it. Of course, I didn't get my way on that. Lyn nows sleeps on SisterM's bed. And I'm still adjusting on the fact that she tend to be frisky [is that the right term for it?] whenever she's in bed. Our bed is a double decker, she's on the top bunk.

Anyhoo, like I said, she's an ok girl. Mostly quiet. My motherdear's intention of helping her and sending her to school is fine with me. Though, what bothers me is that we don't have the means for it. We can hardly make ends meet here at home. Our money goes right into bills, bills and more bills. It's been tough for months now coz SisterJ hasn't been working since February me thinks. It was just me and SisterM trying to make ends meet. I don't mind helping but if you don't have the means for it, why do so right? Motherdear have asked money from me so she could buy Lyn some school stuff [uniforms and such], I just gave her the money and just let that be. She will be needing stuff for school and who will buy those for her? My parents don't work anymore. So, it's up to us [my sisters and I] to pay for those no? Sigh. It's beginning to be a forced help on my end. It's like, I don't have a choice. Or to borrow Miss M's Mom's phrase: what can I do?

Motherdear is currently in the province now, minding some legal business about my Grandmother's property that some stooofid and greedy relatives wants for themselves. This property case has started while I was in highschool. It's now, 12 years since HS and it's still going on. I really feel like cussing those greedy relatives, I mean, I remember back in the day, they even stayed at our house for months whenever they're here in Manila. ALL FOR FREE, mind you. Walang utang na loob. I'm ashamed to be related to them. I really am.

Motherdear texted me a few weeks ago, that we should look after Lyn and all. Ask her what she needs for school and such. I was at the mall last week, I bought a shirt and some toiletries. Then SisterJ called me and asked if I had money coz Lyn needed jogging pants for school. I didn't have money left coz I already bought some things. I feel bad that Lyn doesn't have the jogging pants but is it my responsibility to get her that? I mean...I wasn't even too keen on her staying at our house.

It's just not fair that I feel guilty buying stuff for myself coz I think about her and the stuff that she needs for school. This will just be a sore issue for me. God loves a cheerful giver [can't remember from which verse that came from...] right? But I'm not at all cheerful about giving to her. Sigh.

Oh well...that's that. I don't know how long she'll be staying here but she's here. And I will continue to try and help her coz I have no choice. I become the bad guy if I don't help out no? Sigh. She recently turned 13 a few weeks back, I bought her undies, that gift, was from my heart though. No bad feelings when I bought those undies for her.

God help me be strong on this one. I don't dislike Lyn, I just don't like her that much. She once turned off the computer while I was in the shower. I got soooo irritated that I wanted to tell her off. But I didn't, I just told her nicely, that next time, asked me first if the computer needs to be turned off. Ayayay. Ok, I guess, that'll do for now. I feel a bit better. Should I feel better though? Oh well, things happen for a reason right? RIGHT.

Have a fine Sunday. God Bless us always.