I'm feeling much better...

It's a Tuesday afternoon.
Like always, instead of having my lunch, I spend my time online...
It's been a week or so that I haven't really been sending messages to three of my fwends...
I'm really worried because I might say something that I will just regret later...
So, in the meantime...
however hard it is...
I just refrain myself from sending them messages 'til we get to talk...
I can't even ask them "how they are?".
What's up with that?
Bummer...
I'm really in the dark room nowadays...
I'm looking forward to our talk this Saturday.
But you know what?
I'm nervous...
To talk...
Not the subject of the talk...
But the act of talking...
I get nervous when I talk for a long period of time...
That's why I don't talk that much...

Sadness...

I can now say that I am sad.

Since Saturday, I've been thinking...thinking...confusing myself in the process.

Now, I'm just sad.

About the fact that I've been causing some problems with some of my friends and I didn't know about it 'til they told me about it.

The thing is, why didn't I know about it? Was I really that dense? Don't I feel it when something is up?

Since I could remember, I always try my best to do good. Not to take advantage of people. Not to disrespect people. Not to give people problems. Because I believe in karma. But it seems while I was trying to be good, I also was doing something bad.

It made me doubt myself. Do I really know myself? Why those traits that my friends noticed in me, I didn't see for myself? It hurts me to be that person. I don't like that person. Oh well...

I'm hoping that I will get past this in one piece. Because I am not that strong. I have the tendency to give up. When I'm really tired and just had it.

This is one of my saddest days. It's on my top 5.

I am sad.

Hah!

It's been awhile since I last posted something in here...I'm still hesitating if I'm gonna include this in my website. It's not like Irene's Blog, so entertaining.

I'm a person who can't even talk about what's bothering me to those people who are there to listen. Sometimes, I think, am I shutting them out by not talking? I can't even send them text messages because I know they would ask and I know that they get tired of asking and me not telling. I need help. I'm aware of it. I've been having dreams. [almost every night now] Been napping most of the time. I guess, just to escape [even for a while] the thoughts that's bothering me. Sleep is good.

Weird...

Suddenly, my attached pictures are visible from the Blog page...can you see it? Is it just my imagination? My links to Mark and Daniela doesn't work. Man, what's happening here? I'm weirded out [?]....Tell me if you see the pix alright? or if you can view the links...whatever....just tell me. Thanks.

No Pictures Allowed

Last time, I tried to attach some images here in the blog page but I failed. Later on, I read the FAQs and I find out that attaching images are not supported by BlogSpot. Anyhoo, I will attach them pictures again but this time I will just link them. Let's see if it works. Check out Mark Philippoussis and Daniela Hantuchova.

I read Irene's current posts...that's entertainment. [more please!] She said she's prude, I don't think so. [hah! that's coming from someone who likes guys in their undies...] I don't know what about those guys in undies that I find very appealing...started with Marky Mark during his Calvin Klein ads...then Marcus...then Jomari...now it's John Hall...shame on me? nah! I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just appreciating a man's undies...heehee.