Hah!...

I have a lot of time in my hands nowadays and I don't know what to do. Is that bad? I could just sleep all day but I can't sleep whenever I'm alone in this house. Not that I am feeling bad vibes in this house. Just can't. For some reason.

My routine is pretty much the same, M-F, get up at 5:45am, fix NG's lunch sandwich. Have my coffee. [sometimes, I eat breakfast when I feel like it]. He leaves before 6:30am. I turn on the computer, update the dailybread. Check my yahoo, gmail, hotmail, multiply, myspace, friendster and my blog. Then, will do some cleaning [not much really, since, there's not a lot of dust in here]. Laundry day is Friday. Then, just be online and wait for someone to chat with from home. My cousin Nadine messaged me via YM earlier [4am-ish my time] asking if I'm already awake and that she misses me, it was ALL CAPS. I miss her the most. Sigh.

I don't wanna cry right now. Hee. I am extra emotional whenever I have my period. Damn. My emotions go haywire whenever I have my period. Does any of the gurls reading this experience the same?

I still am getting used to being alone most of the day when NG is at work. Hoping to get work as soon as possible. Next month, will file my adjustment status and that work permit, I am praying the work permit will not take too long. Really wanna help out with the finances here. I know, NG says its all good and that he'd take care of me and whatever that I may need and everything else but I didn't plan to not work when I got here. I don't feel good not contributing something, anything. This is the longest time [I stopped working the week before I left the Philippines in May 25th] that I've been out of work. It's actually not fun. It would be fun to not work if I'm rich rich rich but I'm not.

This week, NG works 2 jobs, until 9pm, Tuesday to Friday. I just fix something for him to eat, mostly microwaveable foodies, since he's got lots to dispose of before we start buying, and I plan to learn how to cook, I just don't feel the urge yet each time I see the food that must be consumed first. And I want to learn how to cook, I brought some recipes with me and I have friends and my Tatay to ask when the time comes. NG found out last night, he'll get a Sunday [July 27] off that he didn't ask for. All goody. It's better than nothing. The next weekend off he'll have will be the weekend of August 15-17. He was surprised to find out that he gave him that Sunday off, he'll take it he said. He'll go to church with me again he said, I didn't ask, he said it first. THAT made me happy.

Anyhoo, I'm just rambling here. Trying not to think about negative thoughts on my present situation. I am happy. That much I know. Just that, sometimes, in life, you have to leave some people behind in order to be with someone. I don't like that fact but it is true. My friends and family makes me happy. NG makes me happy. But they are two different kind of happiness no? Tough to explain. I just wish my family and friends are happy for me. Though, I kinda know they are. But still, I know, they still worry about me. Everything that is happening [and will happen] to me nowadays will be mostly firsts for me. Some will not be goody but it's part of a package no? You can't choose to experience all the good things only. There have to be a balance of sorts. Whatever, I don't know what I'm saying. Will go for now, CRAMPS is acting up bad. Guys are so lucky they don't have monthly periods. For that fact only, I would want to be a man. Hee. Have a good day. God bless.