Love is a 4 letter word...

Ask the Love Guru [got this from Beliefnet]

>>What is a Love Guru?
My goal is to help and guide people to finding LOVE. Love with themselves, love with others and just surround themselves with love. Love is the ultimate jacket that one should wear to face the world. Love is a powerful force when used for good.

>>When Will I Meet "The One?"
Greetings Gurudev,
I am wondering, what can you share with singles who seek their soul mates? How will they know when "The One" comes along? How will they recognize this special person? What will your special movie teach us about this?
I think that when you meet someone that you are going to be with, you just know. However, soul mates are sometimes difficult to identify. They aren't all prince charming holding a red rose and making the bedroom eyes at you. They may be disguised as the postman with the B.O. who just needs a chance. And some new shorts. Yikes! Lower the hem, Chief, because no one ordered that special delivery! I think that to find your soul mate you need to be open minded. Let people in! And as for what my movie will teach, it shall be peace, loving yourself, being one with the universal energy that courses through all things, and that the price of a Turbo Tub of popcorn is at least a dollar too high. It's hot corn, for Pitka sakes!

>>Should I Train My Man?
After 7 years, he's willing to put down the seat on the toilet and various other tasks. But, when I say, "jump", he doesn't say, "how high." Love Guru, do you recommend "training your man"?
Training anything is very difficult. Trust me I know, I've got ostriches, elephants and all kinds of other critters running around my ashram like they freaking own the place. And they also refuse to turn the lights off when they leave a room. Annoyyyyying! My electric bill is higher than Guru Maltanto on Chibatar berries. As for your hubby, I don't think training is the answer, because every being on this Earth should walk their own journey while you walk yours. This is the most basic law of the universe... respect. Every person's path is their own for a reason. Like my gardener, who has chosen his path right past my bathroom window when I am busy "dropping the little Gurus off at the pool." Perhaps I have shared too much, but you get the idea. And if you also happen to know about any new, respectful gardeners, let me know.

>>Should I Stay With Him?
Have you ever been in a situation where you love someone but you also hate them at the same time? I certainly have. You love them for the wonderful things that they do for you, but you hate them for putting you through "unnecessary torture", by not doing those things "with you."
I hear you man-knockin', so I hope this answer is a-rockin'. Men are like asparagus: good for you in principle, but too much makes your pee smell. I say it's time to mix up your diet. Be heart smart and read the labels first when you are relationship shopping. Not too much fat, enough sugar, and no MSG (Mortal fear of Sharing and Growth) Otherwise you'll keep going home with bags of bad news. And that just gets you a sore back and a fridge full of fury. Good luck!

>>Should I Return to My Ex?
I have been in a relationship for 5 years to a great guy. We get along well and co-exist happily. The problem is, there's no passion anymore. Any kind-of sex is always initiated by me and it's been this way for a long time. I've tried talking to him and I get no where. Recently, my ex resurfaced and the spark is hotter than ever. He makes me feel beautiful and sexy! My boyfriend rarely takes his eyes off the video game when I enter the room. It's getting really hard to stay faithful! Any advice would be most appreciated.
Five years is a long time, for anything. Ask Braksheer down in the village, who hasn't trimmed his nose hairs in almost six. He looks like he's jumping rope when he walks. But back to you: After putting so much of your life spirit and energy into an individual, and it still being bad, while a previous individual is looking good, could lead to a big problem. For Mr. Five Year Lazy Video Game Boring Weiner! Tell him your worries, and that if there is no change following your chat, then it is time to seek greener pastures. Not necessarily with your past. It's all about moving forward! But if the ex is still as foxy as I am guessing, then I say "release the hounds!"

>>Can I Get Over Him?
I had a break up one year ago and I still love that person. I am sure he loves me too but there is an issue between us that bothers him too much and can't be resolved. Can I do something about it or am I supposed to remain sad and depressed???
First of all, you should never plan to remain sad and depressed. Definitely take steps to alleviate the sadness and depression. Turn on a fan of positivity to whisk those negative energies away. Perhaps once they are gone, you will miss this man less. It is also a truth that things happen for a reason. If it didn't work out, there was a reason. If that reason is a big boulder standing in your path together, you can agree to try and get around it separately and meet on the other side to continue your journey together. But if on your way around the boulder, you happen to meet a sexy lifeguard who has a nice tan and shiny white teeth who asks you to join him at the Burger Shack for dinner, you can alter your path. You are the master of your own course through life, and let's be honest... a free burger is always tough to pass up.

>>Should I Wait for Him?
I am talking to this guy, he sound like everything that I want in a man but right now he is very occupied with his grandmother being sick with lung cancer. The way it sound like she might not have much time to live. I don't know if I should just sit around and wait for him to take care of his grandmother than be with me what should I do? Should I wait for him?
Well, this is a tricky situation. Illness is a sad reality in our world. However, I don't think hanging out with you and hanging with his g-mom have to be mutually exclusive. You just need to decide if you really like this guy. If you do, then put on your understanding pants and stick with him like peanut butter on rice (an old family recipe--great for when your poop pipe is packed) If you do not like him that way, then let that butterfly fly. I think that the g-mom is a non-issue. She could be here today, gone tomorrow or here today, and gone never, like my great aunt Felicia, who was run down by a rogue steer, got pneumonia from the puddle she fell in, and then outlived the entire family. She claims it was because of vitamins and prayer, but I think it was just pure old fashioned anger. Bottom line: if you like him, stick with him.

>>How Do I Find a Good BF?
I am so glad you asked this question, and believe me, you are not the first. So here is my answer. The way you find a good Buttocks Funnel is to shop around online, then go to this Swedish place that... what? Ohhhh, a Boy Friend! I knew that is what you meant. No, I'm not lying. Yes, my face is normally this red. I'm part Irish. Let's move on. I think to find a good boy friend, you need to find someone who complements you and who you are, but with the extra yummy of romance. An equal, with similar interests, and knowledge, and goals you can enjoy on a deep personal level. It also doesn't hurt if they are a tiger in the sack! They need to be a good match in all areas, but a word of caution: before someone else can love you, you must love yourself. But don't love yourself too much. It'll make you go cross eyed, and then the only boys interested in you will be optometrists, and they're a little boring.

15 Love Lessons From 'Sex and the City'
by Valerie Reiss [Senior Editor at Beliefnet]

I'm single, a native New Yorker, a writer, and a former sex columnist. To say I could relate to Carrie's NYC existence is an understatement--if you add hilarious dialogue, many guys, a dream apartment, and a wardrobe worth more than most journalists make in a lifetime.

Through my late 20s I was with the girls all the way, even though I often thought their romantic choices were misguided, obviously wrong, spiritually and psychologically clueless, superficial, selfish, and jaded. Pretty much like most of my own.

But in a city where love can be as elusive as affordable housing, SATC gave so many of us perspective, validation, and reminders of the core lessons of love--sometimes in spite of itself, sometimes in the scripts. With the ladies hitting the big screen this week, here's a bit of what I've learned, or remembered, about love thanks to Carrie & Co.

1. Single is Not a Dirty Word
The SATC gals transformed "single"--"spinster"'s more evolved cousin--from being a hole to a presence; they made singledom cool. Even when it hurt.

One of my favorite moments is when Carrie's silver Manolos get swiped from a smug-married's apartment and the friend refuses to reimburse her. She lectures Carrie about spending too much on shoes and not enough on family, playing right in to her singleton's shame.

This, after Carrie has bought engagement, wedding, shower, and baby gifts for her. In a genius move, Carrie registers herself at Manolo Blahnik just for those shoes, single "bride" that she is, forcing the friend to pay up. To me this said the single life is just as valid as the married. We deserve as many gifts and even blessings from our friends and society, regardless of what others might think of our struggles and choices.

2. It's Okay to Expose All to Your Girlfriends
Women talked about sex with their friends long before SATC. But the show gave us permission on a large scale to get graphic and detailed in cathartic and hilarious ways. It was like a six-season long Consciousness Raising group with better outfits.

This seems especially true when it comes to discussing self-pleasuring; it's now much more socially acceptable for women to admit they do it ("I'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome"), and even talk about the tools they use (Rabbit, anyone?). By treating it like any other normal, human function, a burden was lifted, even for those of us who were raised to be open about sex.

3. Fate is Not Always Fate
It's so tempting to interpret the tea leaves of love, to decide that fate is (finally) working in our favor. When Trey saved Charlotte from being mowed down by a speeding taxi, she decided it was fate. Not just that he was a nice guy who saved her life, but that he must be the guy to live out her "marry tale" with.

Turns out--not so much, and I think after that divorce, Char developed a very different notion of fate, i.e.-we don't know how the universe works and just because it seems like synchronicity, it doesn't mean you have to marry the dude. A lesson better remembered than re-experienced.

4. Sometimes to Be Real You Have to Get Ugly
When Charlotte first met her handsomely chiseled divorce lawyer, she kept to the prim, nice decorum that defined her. When she realized she needed to be fierce--and ugly--to battle her Bunny-in-law, she dropped him for sweaty, obnoxious, bald Harry Goldenblatt and then felt free to be as nasty as she wanted to be, fangs and all. Turns out he found her "incredibly sexy" anyway. And once she was able to shatter her preppy, WASPy notion of her ideal man, voila, there he was, right in front of her.

5. Be Vulnerable
More than anyone else on the show, Samantha and her mien of steel taught us that true strength is in opening and trust. She started to get this from her girl-flame Maria ("I've got monogomy, I think I caught it from you people") but mostly from her hot-hot boyfriend Smith Jarrod.

First, he forced on her his "perverse" desire to hold hands, and then, most touchingly, shaved off his golden locks when she lost hers to chemo. We all have an inner Samantha--the part that feigns bravado in the face of pain and trusts no one. Watching her set down her insecurity-as-sword reminded all us tough girls to do the same.

6. There's a Difference Between Childlike and Childish
In perhaps my favorite episode, a guy named Wade had a comic book store, a great record collection, and a scooter. Carrie was justifiably wooed when he drew a cartoon of her telling her to call him. And the girl needed some fun! Mr. Big? Sexy, complicated, but no bag of jacks.

With Wade, she played video games, took a spin on the scooter, got stoned on the balcony of his surprisingly vast Park Avenue apartment. Turned out the guy was living with his parents. And not only that, he lied to his mom that they were smoking Carrie's pot. Lesson? If he seems like a kid, investigate to make sure he's also an adult.

7. Know When to Kiss Goodbye
Miranda asked a date up to her apartment. He declined, claiming to have "an early meeting." Later, she asked Carrie's man of the hour for insight. Berger said, "He's just not that into you," and "When a guy's really into you, he's coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting."

Miranda is instantly liberated, giddy with the blame-free simplicity of it. Of course in real life, sadly, it's not always so simple. But through this and countless other moments, the show taught us that letting go is never easy--even when he's "not into you"--but that if you don't walk away when you know you should, only misery, over-analysis, and disappointment awaits.

8. Don't Mistake Scraps for Jewels
"It was the single most encouraging moment in our relationship." Was Carrie talking about Big sharing his heart with her? Giving her a thoughtful present? Nope. She said this when he gave her the "only" extra pink toothbrush head one night.

Sure, it was the only baby step toward accepting her into his life that he was capable of. But all of us need to love ourselves enough not to mistake glitter for diamonds, scraps for a meal--exactly what that toothbrush head was.

9. Read the Signs
When Carrie got engaged to Aidan, she promptly strung the gorgeous Harry Winston ring around her neck instead of putting it on her finger. Score one for costume designer Patricia Field for the fresh accessory, minus one very big one for the happy future of Carrie and Aidan. Both continued to ignore the signs of doom--like so many of us do--in exchange for hope.

It was a reminder to all of us not to ignore those persistent yet subtle doubts, accumulating red flags--and full-blown panic attacks--no matter how much we want something to work out.

10. Patience & Compromise
Sure, the show was often about taking, and Goddess knows the characters' self-absorption grated horribly sometimes. But as the ladies matured, we saw more and more examples of selfless compromise.

Miranda agreed to have her son Brady baptized even though it conflicted strongly with her beliefs; Charlotte converted to Judaism to be with Harry; and most hilariously, Harry put on underwear to sit on Charlotte's pristine white sofa. As for patience, the girls had a giant Birkin bag full of it for each other. And Carrie, in spite of herself had it big-time with Big.

11. Hold Out for Romance and Butterflies
This is a tricky one, right? Knowing when to hold out for what you want and when to embrace what you have. The SATC girls grappled with that again and again, knowingly, and not.

Romance (and belly full of excitedly batting wings) is fleeting--and yet it's really hard to sustain a happy union that never had it. After dancing with bitter Berger in the Hamptons one night, Carrie reflects with clarity: "Some people are settling down, some people are settling, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies."

12. Romance Isn't What You Think It Will Be
After the most romantic French meal ever--candlelight, fromage, the works, Charlotte and Harry are in bed, gazing at each other and then suddenly find themselves doubled over with food poisoning. They trade urgent, loud, smelly runs to the bathroom all night long.

"There's a moment in every relationship when romance gives way to reality," Carrie says of the two lovers and her own Big fart incident. "Surviving a night of food poisoning together wasn't the stuff of great romance, but it was the stuff of lasting love." And then we see Harry and Charlotte holding hands in a sweet, real, puddle on the bathroom floor.

13. Love Beyond Yourself
Though ever-cynical Miranda adored her baby, she was not instantly maternal, referring to him as "meatloaf" at one point. But she eventually warms to motherhood. And later on, she grows her heart an extra size when she cares for her mother-in-law with dementia, gently bathing her in one especially heart-breaking scene. The girls--and all of us--are at their best when they give and extend themselves to others.

14. Chicks Stick Together
The entire show is about the consistency of friendship (even when alleged off-screen spats seem to be visible on-screen). They fight, work it out, offer support, drive each other nuts, and always come back together--whether it's Carrie making sure there's no "cheerleading" during Miranda's birth, or Charlotte giving Carrie her old engagement ring.

Toward the very end of the series, when Carrie is in Paris, Big sits with the remaining women, polling them for advice. "You guys are the biggest loves in her life," he says. "A guy is just lucky if he comes in fourth." We can all do to remember to treat our friends like the primary love providers they can be, even when we're in deep, central union with a partner.

15. Always Come Home to Yourself
When Carrie is off with the Russian in Paris (wearing that amazing tulle dress that goes on forever), she loses her signature nameplate necklace. A heavy-handed metaphor? Maybe. A key lesson in all relationships? Yes.

It's so easy for women especially to lose their identity in romantic relationships--we tend to merge with our lovers, sometimes dropping our own "names" in the process. Ms. Bradshaw does find her necklace, and any good shrink (or scriptwriter) would say it's important to note that it was with her all along, fallen into the lining of a Dior purse.

The series ends with these words from Carrie, after she has gone back home to New York, to herself, her friends, and her Big love: "...the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous."

I've been here in Omaha for 3 weeks now. Still adjusting. I'm so not used to being by myself for a long period of time. Sigh. But that's been the case here. I want to work but I can't yet until I get a work permit which will be filed with my status adjustment once NG and I get married. I thought I can file the work permit first but turns out I can't. Oh well. Trying to find things to do here. I pretty much been productive. "Organizing" NG's stuff here. Not fun to do by myself but it keeps me busy. I even alphabetized his CDs too.

TV has been my company for most of the time here at home. Comedy Central is my fave. I get to watch MADtv, Scrubs, Just Shoot Me, Dharma & Greg. I steer away from the drama shows though. Must make myself laugh at most times when I'm alone or else, I'd just be crying. Oh well. NG's cable got 351 channels. He even got this movie on demand channel, it's like having your own dvd playlist available 24/7. It's quite cool. We've seen Office Space [Ron Livingston/Jennifer Aniston] twice now. I watched Before Sunrise, Serendipity, High Fidelity last week.

42 months with NG last Friday, we didn't celebrate that day, just stayed home but we had dinner and strawb/banana margarita at La Hacienda, we love it there.

NG had a day off last Sunday, we had lunch with his dad at China Buffet, gotta love the shrimp there. Then NG and I watched Zohan. Loved it. Gotta love Adam Sandler. We might watch the Love Guru next.

Must end this one for now, nothing much else to blog about. I still have one blog on draft, it's actually a survey-type meme, will finish that next time. Thanks for reading. Have a good day. Keep the faith. God Bless.

Where Do I Begin?...

Hmmm...this is my first post for this month, in a totally new environment, a galaxy far far away [25 hours++ plane trip & 2 stopovers] from the Philippines. I've been here in Omaha for 2 weeks now and adjusting is still in effect. Good and not-so-goody changes since I moved here:

> no more daily emails/sms chats/weekend phone calls/weekend webcam chats with NG
> starting a life with someone I might [hee, if I can deal with some of his habits that sometimes annoy me] spend the rest of my life with, praying about it, we never know, the future is out there, just gotta have faith
> get to know NG on a daily basis [the good and the not so goody ones too...heee...]
> efficient services and what not [getting our marriage license took 30 minutes; applying for a ss number took 10 minutes; drive-thru banks, as long as you have the withdrawal/deposit slip you can go thru a drive thru-bank; you can pay for most, if not all, household utilities online; most of the public toilets have ample stock of toilet paper, soap, paper towel and some have toilet seat cover refills too]
> adjusting to a new life living with a boy
> sleeping next to a person who sometimes snores [he claims he doesn't though...]
> sleeping next to a person whom I lovelike [hee...]
> doing things together with NG at the same time...dining, watching tv, grocery-shopping etc etc...
> missing my family and friends [THANK God for the internet]
> missing Nadine's stories that ALWAYS makes me smile/laugh
> missing the daily group text messaging between friends [I can still receive texts on my phone, just can't reply the way I used to coz it be a bit pricey]
> missing my clean and good smelling blanket/sheets [don't ask...hee]
> might gain weight coz of all the edibles in this house [I've been good though, for some reason, I don't get the munchies, maybe, coz I get busog just seeing the foodies]
> being home alone all day while NG's at work [he works everyday with 2 jobs, hoping to get work this month or early next month]
> fussing at NG for a few things that he should be doing on a daily basis [again, don't ask...heeee...who doesn't want to feel fresh after a day's work? it's not just a girl thing right?]
> adjusting to NG's loud muzak [his speakers are busted, he's got like 3 other new speakers in the house BUT he doesn't wanna change it until it dies on him...tsk tsk tsk...NOISE!!! Why do some people like to play their tunes TOO loud? I'm surprised he doesn't have a hearing problem.]
> missing VS [I have a bottle of Absolut Ruby Red in the fridge, it's been there for almost as long as I am here, just don't have the urge to drink...]
> not a lot of public transportation here, can't just go from one place to another via bus, really want to explore the area but can't yet, in time, maybe, I did get to visit the Zoo, it was HUGE...
> mail delivery everyday except Sunday
> 24 hour supermarket [NG does his grocery-shopping early in the morning, where not a lot of people are shopping, still have to do that with him soon, maybe this coming weekend we might since he gets the weekend off]
This is just the start of a new beginning. I'm just taking it as it comes. I don't know what the future holds. We still are getting to know eachother, we know a lot about eachother but there are lots more to know as the days go by. We just gotta compromise on things and keep the faith. And a friend told me, LOVE CONQUERS ALL, I hope she's right. Hee. Here's to living with NG here in Omaha, may we both deal with each other's quirks and what not. Leaving you with something I got from Beliefnet, enjoy...happy Sunday. God Bless.

10 Simple Soul Exercises [from Beliefnet.com]

By Rabbi Brian
[the author of "How to Find Out What (the) God (of Your Understanding) Wants from You." He is a teacher and the Chief Religious Officer of Religion-Outside-The-Box. For more information visit his
website.

Our spiritual life is like singing. Most of us can sing, but few of us do it in public. Even fewer can do it in public without embarrassment! Try these simple, soulful, spiritual workouts to help develop your religious voice so that you can--to use the words of the Psalms--"sing a new song to God."


1. _______, Therefore I Am

French philosopher Rene Descartes wrote, "I think, therefore I am." But what if thinking isn't the reason for your existence?

What word or phrase might you substitute for "I think"?

Here are a few ideas:

* I complain, therefore I am.
* I have stuff, therefore I am.
* I improve on things, therefore I am.
* My parents procreated, therefore I am.
* I create, therefore I am.
* God loves me, therefore I am.

Every version gives a very different perspective on life. Meditate on what you would put in the blank and see what you discover.


2. Spend Time 'Not Doing'

Parkinson's Law (named after 20th-century British historian Cyril Northcote Parkinson) states, "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." That's just the way it is.

Paradoxically for adults, it takes work and planning in order to successfully rest. Can you spend five minutes today not doing? How about 10 minutes? Or a half hour?


3. Take a 'Universe Job Survey'

I saw the following quote: "Many people want to serve God, but only as advisors." If we aren't here to advise God, what is our job?

Here's a way to think about answering that question: Imagine for a moment that the universe was your employer. Based on the way you actually live your life--not on how you wish you did--how would you answer the following questions on The Universe's Job Survey:

* What is your job title?
* What department do you work in?
* How high-ranking are you in your department?
* Do you have a job description?
* Does your job have fixed hours or benefits?


4. Create Your Own Holy Day

Rather than commemorate a truly significant religious or secular event, many of our culture's holidays are invented and exist primarily for commercial purposes. If you could invent a holiday what would it be?

* Bob, my brother-in-law, advocates "Creativity Day."
* Larry, my friend the retired minister and sociology professor, likes the idea of an "International Day of Contrition."
* I would have everyone celebrate "Faith Day."

What "holy day" do you think should be observed?


5. Give Yourself Advice

If you could go back in time to when you were half your current age, what advice would you want to give yourself?

Might you tell yourself:

* to have more faith?
* to love more freely?
* to be less anxious?

And, if you were to take that advice today, how might that change your current outlook?


6. Try New Words

For the rest of the day, see if you can substitute the verb "get" for "have." For example, if you were going to say, "I have to check my email," say instead, "I get to check my email." It's amazing how the little change of one word can affect our attitude.


7. Read an Email from God

Imagine you open your inbox and find an email with the subject line: An email from God. What do you imagine the message would contain?

* Praise?
* Condemnation?
* An answer to a question that you've been asking?
* Advice?
* A forwarded joke?

What about your response? What would you write back? How would you sign it?


8. Surprise Yourself

Imagine that at half the age you currently are, you fell asleep. And imagine that you slept right through (like Washington Irving's story of Rip Van Winkle) until today. What five things about your own life and the world would be most surprising to you?

Would you be surprised by where you live? Would you be surprised by your wealth? Would you be surprised by your state of mind? Would you be surprised by technology? Would you be surprised by world politics?


9. Change It Up

If the only constant is change--as paradoxical as that might seem--it would behoove us all to learn how to deal gracefully with it.

For the rest of the day, change your cell phone ringtone or put your watch on the opposite wrist. (Really, do this.)

Now, each time your phone rings or you look at an empty patch of skin instead of finding out the time, notice how you react. Your reaction to this change is going to inform you about your natural, pre-wired response to change.

Change is just change. It isn't inherently good or bad. It's just different.

See if over the course of the day you can learn from yourself and accept both change as well as your reactions to it.


10. Have a Talk with God

If you were in a couples' counseling with God, what complaints, grievances, grudges, etc., would you have about your recent relationship with God? In other words, what is it that you have not said to God that you know deep in your heart you want to say about your relationship as of late?

It might be something that you haven't felt particularly safe saying or just something you haven't had the opportunity to say. Or it might just be something you've said before that bears repeating.

See if you can come up with at least seven sentences. (There is no one who can't do this--those claiming to have no relationship with God can use that as a wonderful starting point.)

This and That and More...

I get daily inspirations via email from Beliefnet and they help me cope with the daily things in life, reading a positive phrase on a daily basis really is a good thing to have. And from time to time, Beliefnet share ways to help someone in different situations, like what I'm about to share below this rambling of mine. Mostly, I love the Beliefnet website because, there's so much wisdom to read, about different faiths, on how strong people can be in the midst of tragedy or loss and what-have-you. Now, I don't know why some people experience more hardships and tragedies and what not as compared to others BUT inspite of all that, whenever I read something about someone going above and beyond their hardships in life, it just makes me believe MORE that God will not give us something we can't bear. And when we experience something that someone already experienced and got through it, I think, if that person got through that, so can I.

Praying for the people who loss their loved ones in Myanmar and China. I can only imagine how they're dealing with the loss they're suddenly faced with. Continued prayers. Sigh.

Anyhoo, a few overwhelming things has been happening in my life right now and it's really overwhelming. I think, I already said that yes? "One thing at a time" is how I can sum it up. Happy/Sad/Excited/WorriedScared in moving to another country but it is what it is. Wanted to be with NG where we have the same timezone and now, it's just a matter of time on that. After moving, then more grown-up things to do. One thing at a time and I'm sure, we'll get there sooner or later. It's not easy to be a grown-up sometimes, where you have to decide on life-changing things in life. Prayers for me too ok? Thanks and will be appreciated.

On with some goody, positive and could be helpful ways in dealing with happiness and change now. If I have to recommend one website to anyone, it will be WWW.BELIEFNET.COM. Go check it out when you have time. Have a fine mid-week. Keep the faith. God Bless.

10 Ways to Find the Happiness in Front of You
By Addie Johnson [Content from Life Is Sweet.]

We struggle with war, poverty, global warming, rising crime rates, and a barrage of news, hardly any of it good. We hear of people getting sick, getting divorced, or dying. Celebrities have fabulous lives, but you don't, and the "if only's" threaten to win the day: "My life would be sweet if only I were richer, more famous, thinner, younger, older, had a better job, lived in a different city..."

But happiness is all around you. And it doesn't care how much money you have or the circumstances of your life. Here are some tips on how to look on the bright side and find the happiness in front of you.

>> When Off to Bed, Forget the Fight
Maya Angelou's brother gave her a painting with the instruction to hang it so that it was the last thing she and her husband saw before going to bed at night. So if they were in the middle of an argument, they could look at the painting and say, "Oh, stop. Whatever it was, whatever you said, forget it," and go to bed with a twinkle in their eyes.

>> Create a Love List
If I'm feeling low, one of the best ways I know to perk up is to make a love list. It's simple, just a list of every single person I love. Then I follow it up with another list of all the people I know who love me. I can stash it in a pocket to take with me on a tough day, or just keep it in mind as I get on with my life.

>> Find Lost Friends
I recently took some time to follow up on the impulse I get every week or so to seek out people that I've lost touch with over the years. I don't know what we did before the Internet. It took only a little time to shoot a few quick emails around the country, and within 24 hours I had baby pictures, recent histories, and writing clips. But the interesting thing was that all three people I got in touch with had been thinking about contacting me a couple of days before getting my email. It was as if I had sent out a psychic detective to people I once had a very close connection with, and before I got around to following up, half the work had already been done. So the next time you think, "Hey, I wonder what ever happened to So-and-So," you might surprise them by tracking down their email address and telling them you got their psychic message.

>> Gossip
I know, I know, your mother was right when she told you not to gossip, but what about a new take on it? Why not get together and have a feel good gossip party, where the "omigosh" is not so much about scandal, but about celebration of the great things in your friends' lives?

>> Find Your Own Fountain of Youth
If you want to keep a spring in your step and a twinkle in your eye, all the while keeping senior moments and other more serious memory lapses at bay, one of the best things to do is to change your routine. Drive a different route to work, switch your right and left hands for everyday activities, eat dessert first, and wear your pajamas to work. Wait, no, that last one will get your family giving you worried looks for sure?

>> Think Positively
Did anyone ever tell you the glass is half full? Somebody told me once it depends whether you're pouring or drinking. Seriously, though, if you can figure out how to get optimistic and stay that way, you're home free. I'm not saying your problems are over, but simply looking at the world through rose-colored specs means that half your problems will look like exciting challenges, and the other half you'll probably realize aren't problems at all, just facts of life.

>> Go Out Dancing
Salsa. Two-stepping. Line and square dancing. Hippityhop, as my grandmother likes to say. Even if you're way past that college/post-college phase of going out clubbing to drink too much and hook up with hotties, you can still have a blast going out with your best friends for a night on the town. Loud music + exercise + adrenaline + mild social anxiety = guaranteed mood elevation.

>> Go to the Playground
I love to watch kids on the playground screaming with laughter about the silliest things. Completely invested in make-believe worlds, totally in their bodies, and overflowing with sensory awareness--that's the way to live.

>> Wish Upon a Star
The best time to see shooting stars that I know of is the Perseid meteor shower, which happens sometime during the second week of August. At its peak, on a moonless night away from city lights, you can see one to two shooting stars every minute. Imagine all those wishes coming true.

>> Create Your Own Soundtrack
In high school my friends and I used to sit for hours making mixed tapes for each other. Now it can all be done with a couple of mouse clicks, but the impulse is still great--to share the soundtrack of your life with someone you love. As you play it, it becomes shared background music for both your lives.

10 Ways to Handle Change
By Ariane de Bonvoisin [Adapted from "The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Any Change (and Loving Your Life More)" She is founder and CEO of First30Days.com, a company dedicated to helping people through life changes. Learn more at First30Days.com.]

Life's transitions are ultimately positive, even if they don't always feel it. Here's how to navigate them gracefully.

Everyone experiences change--it may be a job change, relationship change, health change, or a change you've initiated that suddenly seems daunting. If you find change difficult, you're not alone. Many people think change is hard. But it's possible for the change you're going through to be easier, smoother, and less stressful--you can find the positive in transitions and learn to love your life more...you can become a Change Optimist.

>> Remember That Change Happens to Us All
Change happens every day, to everyone; it's the one constant in life, the thing that connects us all. And whether life has thrown a change at you or you've sought one out, it's natural to find it difficult.

But I believe change is positive, that anyone can change (you're never too old or too young), and there are always ways to make change easier. It's time to learn one of life's most important skills: how to navigate change!

>> From Every Change, Something Good Will Come
People who are good at change always focus on the positive that will inevitably come from any transition. The gift that comes from change may not be related to what you're currently going through. For example, you may lose your job but find yourself in a rewarding new relationship that you wouldn't have had time to pursue.

Change may lead you to new people, help you develop a stronger faith and belief in yourself, give you new opportunities, or inspire you to live a healthier life. It's important to be on the lookout for good changes, and not necessarily where you expect to find them!

>> Your Beliefs About Change Are Your Foundation
What you think about change will have a direct effect on how easy or hard you find the process. If you believe that change is difficult and terrible, then you will probably have a difficult and terrible time. But if you believe that change exists to teach you something--to make you a better person and put you on a new path--the transition will not be so daunting. Identify your beliefs--what you think and say to yourself and others during change--and turn them around.

For example, if you are having financial trouble, you may think "I am incapable of managing money." Or if you're going through a difficult break-up, you may believe "I am unlovable." But you can trade these disempowering beliefs--and their accompanying negativity and complaining--for thoughts that will give you strength and hope.

>> Get 'Unstuck' with the Change GPS
Because of emotions brought up by change, it's easy to get stuck in the past and to lose your ability to move forward. You may feel trapped by these Change Demons, but you can get unstuck by turning on your Change GPS! A GPS navigator only asks two questions: "Where are you now?" and "Where do you want to go?" Your Change GPS helps you move through transitions by alerting you if you're off-course and encouraging you to focus on your final destination.

If you're hoping to lose weight, for example, be honest about where you stand today (how much you need to lose and the most realistic approach), then create a plan and stick to it. The GPS won't tell you what you did wrong yesterday or what you could have done differently; it simply keeps you moving along the path to your ultimate goal.

>> Turn to Your Change Support Team
It's normal to feel isolated during change. We often think what we are facing is so unique that no one else can help or understand us. But change is easier when you let other people in. Whatever the situation, there is always, always, someone who can help.

One of the quickest ways to embrace change and move through it is to surround yourself with a team of supportive people. They can be family, friends, clergy members, therapists, co-workers--or anyone else who might help you through a change. These people are there to listen, support, and encourage you. They believe you can change, they want you to change, and most importantly, they will keep you on a path of hope and optimism as you move through the transition.

>> Change Demons Are a Healthy Part of Change
Change Demons are disempowering feelings that arise during any change. These emotions--fear, doubt, impatience, shame, blame, and guilt--can wreak havoc with your self-esteem and destroy hope. But they also remind you how you don't want to feel during change so you can return to how you do want to feel.

When Change Demons visit, remember: 1) they are temporary; 2) they encourage you to make a choice--you can choose to feel better or worse than the emotion you are currently experiencing; and 3) they can be replaced with better, brighter emotions that will help you move through change with ease and grace. Faith, patience, endurance, and honesty are some positive emotions that can replace Change Demons.

>> Use Your Spiritual Strength
When everything is changing, it's important to find the part of yourself that doesn't change--your calm, centered, spiritual side, your higher self. It's the part that's connected to something greater and uses your intuition as a guide. You need to reconnect to it through prayer, meditation, nature, silence, or journaling...anything that helps you go back inside, where your true spirit and power reside.

While your lower self may slip into self-pity and hold grudges, your higher self doesn't allow you to become a victim, to blame someone else when things get difficult, or to get lost in anger. This side helps you shine in strength, compassion, and clarity. During change, make an effort to act from your higher self and ask: "What would the better, wiser, calmer part of me do or say or think right now?"

>> You Have a Change Muscle
Everyone is born with a will to survive, get better, and be happier--I call this the Change Muscle. It helps you accept the reality of your situation and find your center again. Every time you are faced with a change and move through it, you are activating that muscle. And once you flex it, it's strengthened for life--you can never lose all that you have gained from experience. Next time you're faced with transition, remember that your Change Muscle will give you the strength to get through it.

>> Accept Change
When change happens, you often look longingly back to what used to be. You don't like where the river of life seems to be taking you, so you cling to the rocks or row vigorously upstream--that's what makes change tough! Accept change by taking in your new circumstances without fighting, arguing, explaining, or asking "What if?" It may be difficult at first, but you will soon see that life will lead you through this change and into a place of greater happiness and peace.

Go in the direction that life is taking you. If it's a divorce, accept it; if it's a health diagnosis, accept it--only then can you focus on re-aligning yourself with a plan and an optimistic view that focuses on the future, not the past.

>> Take Action
People who are good at change stop talking and take positive action. Whether life has thrown you a change or you want to make a shift, get a journal and start writing down your feelings. Then make a plan that feels right and is realistic and hopeful. Next, start moving physically. Getting some form of exercise is an absolute must when going through change--don't forget the S.E.E.D of all change. (Sleep, Eat Well, Exercise, and Drink Water).

Doing something for someone else--helping a neighbor, calling a lonely friend, spending extra time with your child--will also help to keep you moving forward during change. You can also try something brand new--a new route home, a new class at the gym, a new restaurant, to get things flowing. During transitions it's also helpful to create a "wall of change" with images of what you want to shift and work towards.

Seven Seven Seven...

Seven Ways to Restart Your Day
Beliefnet Feature from Oprah.com.

You've just woken up, and you're on the wrong side of the bed. Is there any way to switch to the other side? Absolutely.

For those times when your mind is addled, and your center is shaky; open this little black bag of cures and find your beautiful balance!

By Kathryn Matthews from O, The Oprah Magazine, October 2007

As soon as the alarm rings...
Spend your first 15 seconds awake planning something nice to do for yourself today. "This can really set you up in a good mood--even if it's just going by the farmers' market and getting fresh strawberries," says Alice Domar, PhD, whose next book--Be Happy Without Being Perfect: How to Break Free from the Perfection Deception--will be out in March 2008.

Get up.
The longer you lie there, the more you ruminate, the darker your outlook is likely to become, says Christine Padesky, PhD, coauthor of Mind Over Mood. So get vertical and make a cup of coffee, take a shower, feed the cat...

Drink...
Make that two glasses of water upon awakening, the time when our bodies are dehydrated, says Susan M. Kleiner, PhD, author of The Good Mood Diet. Dehydration causes fatigue, which affects your mood.

Move it.
You already know the number one way of chasing away a bad mood: exercise. A workout at the gym sure helps. But even just a few minutes of movement--a fast walk, for example--raises energy and reduces tension, says mood expert Robert Thayer, PhD, professor of psychology at California State University, Long Beach, and author of Calm Energy.

Investigate.
When you're dogged by anxiety or the dread you woke up with, try to pinpoint what's causing it. Did someone say anything the day before? Do you have a meeting today you wish you didn't? Was it the dream you were having when the alarm went off? "If you can figure out why you're upset, that's halfway to feeling better," says Domar.

Be kind and thankful.
This isn't exactly news, but generosity and gratitude are both big contributors to happiness, according to Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, who directs the Laboratory for the Study of Social Anxiety, Character Strengths, and Related Phenomena at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia. Do something nice for a stranger or friend and see if you don't feel better about yourself. Also, jot down three things that you're grateful for. It seems so simple, but counting your blessings just has a way of making you remember the sun is shining.

Laugh at yourself.
The best comedians point out the mundane aspects of life--relationship strife, a boring job, a closet full of too-tight clothes; they exaggerate those circumstances, and give us a perspective we can laugh about, says Mark Ridley, owner of the Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, Michigan. Look at your own life and try to appreciate the absurdity of what doesn't go exactly according to plan (the diets, the men, the buzz cut). Acknowledging how little control we actually have over what happens is sometimes a most freeing gift to yourself.

Seven Steps to Improving Relationships

By Rabbi Brad Hirschfield

Conflict is an inevitable part of life, but it need not always be painful. In fact, we all have within us the ability to sustain relationships even when we deeply disagree. When we reach our breaking point (as we all do), and need to walk away, we can do so in ways that make it more likely that we will come back together.

Here are seven ancient Talmudic steps to follow when confronted with a conflict. They create conversation--not denigration--and encourage us to talk about what matters most in ways that hurt the least.

1. Give Yourself a Break
Sometimes you need some distance-some time to cool off and reflect. But it should be just that, i.e., a limited amount of time after which you and the person with whom you are fighting agree to come back together and revisit the issues. A time out can be a great thing, as long as its design is to bring you back together.

2. Respect the Other Person's Dignity
The one whom you are in conflict with should never lose their value as a human being. No matter how right you think you are and how wrong they may be, don't deny their dignity; you will do more harm than good.

3. Experience Radical Empathy
We must do everything in our power to identify with the other person and their position before fighting for our own. Simply saying that we understand their point of view is not enough--be able to argue it well and present it as if you shared it yourself.

4. Acknowledge Your Partner's Wisdom
Before we can be their teacher, we must first become their student. We must accept that no matter how wrong someone is about one thing, they are unlikely to be wrong about everything. Nobody is smart enough to be 100 percent right or dumb enough to 100 percent wrong.

5. Know That Conflict Hurts Everyone
Appreciate that even when we are doing everything right in handling our relationships, we all pay a price when a conflict unfolds. Being right should not insulate us from feeling the pain that is a part of the conflict in which we are engaged.

6. Look First to Yourself
Even when we are right, we should always ask how we participate in creating and perpetuating the conflict. We all play the blame game sometimes, but it's important to point a thumb back at ourselves before a finger at the other person.

7. Remember, Being Right Is Not Enough
Remind ourselves that the only real justification for conflict with those about whom we care is that it addresses an issue, which is central to sustaining the relationship over time. If it's just about being right, then it probably isn't worth it.

My Seven American Idol Favorites...

It's been a lazy weekend for me. Was in bed most of the time. Watched a few movies. I recommend Juno. Across the Universe was ok, I didn't loved it but I didn't disliked it either. Though the guy who played Jude was easy on the eyes. Martian Child was good enough for me, John Cusack was they reason why I watched it anyways and he's always good for me. I love hearing him talk. SIGH. I also watched Dedication [Mandy Moore and Billy Crudup], hmmm, there are some movies that when you see who's in it, you get interested in, but when you start watching the movie, it's like, hmmmm, just have to finish the movie to see how it all ends, though, I pretty much knew what was coming. Hee. I like Mandy Moore. Billy was ok. Margot at the wedding stars Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Jack Black, the movie is not a comedy. I don't know what to make of it. I'm glad it wasn't a long movie though. I still have to watch Into the Wild, Awake, Silk, The Bucket List, My Blueberry Nights to watch in the coming days.

Didn't really get to do productive things except I ironed some jeans and shirts Saturday night. I planned on cleaning [basically just arranging my what-not] my room but that didn't worked out. Hee.

Had semi-off chats with NG this weekend. We get those once in a while. There are times that you just want to be with someone and not talk right? But can't do that when you're in a long distance relationship. You can't be on YM and not type anything, the other might think you're mad or something. Can be tough times. Oh well. We tend to take it as it comes. Soon enough we'd get to spend time together and just be. No more looking at each other's webcams and all that. 3 years of doing that made me asked myself why did I agree on it in the first place? I'm not regretting it. It is what it is. Praying about things.

It's a brand new month, NG feels it will be our month, hoping for the best is all. My youngest sister will be arriving on Wednesday from Thailand [a pit stop from Dubai]. She texted me earlier saying that their flight from Dubai to Thailand was delayed. And she'll be arriving here in Manila on Wednesday instead of Tuesday. All good. Already have plans on taking her to a spa for a massage and what not. And she'll be celebrating her birthday here, she'll be 28. How time flies. Indeed. I feel my March will be good, if only for my sister being here, I think that's enough reason to yes? NG might be here too, if all things go as planned.

Here's to a good March for all of us. Keep that faith. God Bless.

I Find Peace...

I get daily inspiration on my email from Beliefnet, and once in a while they have specials like 10 ways of certain things, today, I got 10 Ways to Bring Peace to the World...and I thought, it's worth sharing, I want peace in every way I can get them. Here's 10 Ways to Bring Peace to the World By Susan Skog.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. illustrated with his life, the entire world is lifted up by one individual choosing peace. One person can create something that ignites all of our collective hopes, energies, and dreams. What if you could do that too? What if you are destined to be your generation's peacemaker?

"We have before us the glorious opportunity to inject a new dimension of love into the veins of our civilization," King said. Here are 10 real ways you can cultivate deep in yourself the loving peace you want to see in the core of the world.

* Wherever You Stand, Make It Camp David *
"The only way we can make peace is for each of us to be the peace we want to see." -- Susan Collin Marks

It's up to us. We can't wait for someone more powerful or wiser to deliver peace. We are the wise and powerful ones who choose peace in every thought and action.

King showed us that even the simplest acts tilt the world toward peace. When his house was burned during the civil rights movement, he raced home not knowing if his wife and young daughter were safe. And he knew whatever he did could affect the anger brewing in the country. He stepped onto his porch and said, "Remember, this is what God said, 'We are not advocating violence. We want to love our enemies. I want you to love your enemies. Be good to them. Love them and let them know you love them.'"

Global peace is a personal choice, hour by hour. Ask yourself, "Am I going to add to the fighting in the world? Or offer up something greater?"

* Nurture Peace in Yourself *
"The first step is to come home to ourselves. You don't need to become a Buddha. You need to become yourself." -- Thich Nhat Hanh

It's hard to stay peaceful if we're overwhelmed by life. Find some peace, calm, and stability in your inner world so you can be kinder in your outer world. Do whatever soothes you, daily. Spend time in nature, meditate, sing, dance, play, chill on the couch. Do yoga, read by the fire, eat good chocolate while watching an entire sunset. Disconnect from conflict and just breathe for a while. Center yourself and tap into the peace you already carry within.

* Heal a Piece of Your Anger *
"Peace is as much about getting the bombs out of our own hearts as out of the Pentagon budget." -- Colman McCarthy

It's normal to get angry. But as peacemakers, our challenge is to channel that frustration into something greater. Think of your anger as rocket fuel that can launch your dreams--not scald people around you. View it as a surge of energy to create what you really want and need. Practice breathing deeply, disarming yourself and asking, "Why am I so angry? What do I really want?"

If we can transform our anger into a higher dream, as King did, we take a stand for peace. We step away from the vise of anger and step into the lives we really want.

* Focus on the Positive *
"Plant yourself in the middle of what you love most--the thing within you that is most alive." -- Yael Lachman

Others may want to waste their precious time focusing on the perceived ugliness in the world. Be the one who focuses on the positive, and watch the magic happen. Our thoughts are powerful. What we pay attention to expands. Attract peace with your thoughts. Notice peaceful people and places, tune out violence.

And remember that more people are at peace than at war all across the earth. This is the story we need to focus on, broadcast, and amplify. The world is evolving and becoming a brighter place.

* Creatively Resolve One Conflict *
"Conflicts are a call to creative problem-solving." -- Louise Diamond

Whether you're hosting a family gathering or conferencing with your staff, conflict will pop up as surely as that annoying neighbor who wants you to vote like him. Intensity will always percolate in any community. Conflicts can't be avoided. But we can learn to navigate them more confidently and use the tension as an opportunity to express our views honestly and peacefully.

The next time conflict surfaces, keep breathing, stay calm, thoughtfully speak your truth, listen to others, and try to find some shared ground. Realize that your frustration may be about the situation, not the person. Set the intention to find a resolution. Try to find the humor. Agree to disagree, if necessary.

* Be the Bridge *
"Out beyond the ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there." -- Rumi

When do you demonize and fear people you don't even know? When you have incorrect perceptions of others, it's easier to fear, even hate them. Get to know the genuine in others. Meet people of other cultures, religions, and backgrounds. Find shared experiences, hopes, and beliefs. Connect on that holy ground, and peace will flow out from those moments.

* Practice Self-Responsibility *
"We want to put an end to wars without giving up our violent intentions and violent relationships," -- Arun Gandhi

Wars break out over our evening meals--or in the world--when we try to control someone else. Accept that everyone holds a piece of the truth, Arun Gandhi says. Accept that you're only responsible for your own values, beliefs, and choices.

* Forgive One Person *
"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies." -- Nelson Mandela

This month, try to release one individual--it could be yourself--from your anger and judgment. If you can't change what happened, then change your thoughts about it. Let it go. Forgiveness isn't about forgetting, it's about being at peace in your own skin. It's about getting on with your life, says Arun Gandhi, who forgave the man who killed his grandfather. "Being obsessed with anger only destroys us."

* Believe in Peace *
"Dream. Dream. Dream. Be idealistic. Dream the world can be a better place." -- Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Believe that peace can happen anytime, anyplace. Love the idea of living in harmony more than the idea of living in chaos. Spend time each day visualizing how your own life will be different when peace grows in all your relationships. Imagine your community cooperative and thriving. Imagine our country no longer warring with others. See our homes bathed in peace and prosperity. Feel the joy of that! Believe that a peaceful world is our destiny.

* Serve a Piece of the World *
"Everybody can be great, because everybody can serve." -- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The world is asking for your light. Find a way to give back and make a difference. Help someone else. You and I make all the difference in whether the world grows more chaotic or more peaceful. "You don't need a college degree to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve," King said. "You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

Serve the world with your peaceful heart, with your peaceful soul. Make it big. Make it so.

As for me, I find peace whenever I'm awake at 3am and it's all quiet that I get to think and realize about the good things/people I have in my life. I find peace in laughing effortlessly whenever my cousin Nadine tells me a joke [even if it's corny, she still makes me laugh] or something about a TV show she just watched that I have no idea of. I find peace knowing I'm loved and that I can love someone unconditionally. I find peace looking at my photo albums. I find peace browsing thru men's undies at Bench. [I have a thing for undies, let's leave it at that...] I find peace re-reading cards or letters that were given to me. I find peace re-reading my journal [though, I hardly write any but it's still peaceful to read them]. I find peace seeing my loved ones sleeping. [It's not like I watch them sleep...just seeing them sleeping is peaceful, knowing that in that moment, they are far away from whatever problems they might be facing]. I find peace in being with my loved ones. Though, I also find peace just being alone at times, not having to worry about not talking [which I'm VERY good at...heee] to whoever I'm with, just minding my own thing, it's a me, myself and I, kinda thing. I found peace in getting daily text messages and emails from NG, it's a comfort knowing he's out there even if he's not right where I am. I find peace watching my favorite TV shows [whether I laugh or cry at those shows, they are my shows...]. I find peace knowing that my loved ones are at home and that they are safe. I find peace in knowing that peace is not impossible to have in this lifetime. I find peace reading the daily bread. I find peace having God in my life, I KNOW, I can do so much in that area, praying and hoping, I'd get there someday. How about you? Where do you find peace?

Have a good week ahead, it is the last full week of January 2008. Hah. Where did the time go? God Bless.

Say Yes To God...

This is worth sharing me feels. I got it from Beliefnet. It's very comforting. I want to start my week with this comfort. Sharing it with you. Have a fine week. God Bless.

Ten Prayers God Says Yes To

Haven't you ever wondered, "Why are some of my prayers answered while some are not? How do I get God's attention? How do I get the divine 'Yes'?" Even the most faithful believers are discouraged by dry seasons, when it seems as though God doesn't really care about them or their needs.

"Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To" is the result of author Anthony DeStefano's journey through scripture to find those prayers that God always answers, and promises to always say yes to. Not sometimes. Not maybe. But all of the time.

God, Show Me That You Exist

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. (Rev. 3:20)

God is just waiting for honest doubters to cry out for a little revelation! In fact, he is knocking at their doors, eager to oblige. The door to the human heart can be opened only from the inside. God will never force his way in. All we have to do is open.

Even if we already know that God exists and promises to be there for us, sometimes we don't feel his presence or see him moving in our lives. Then even strong believers experience doubts. They, too, need fresh reminders that he is there, aware and listening--and that he promises to respond:

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. (Luke 11:9)

God invites us to knock at his door so he can reveal himself to us. The interesting thing about Jesus' use of the word "knock" is that it means "to keep on knocking"--persistently, confidently, trusting in the love and faithfulness of God to answer us.

God, Make Me an Instrument

Wherever two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them. (Matthew 18:20)

Quite literally one of the oldest Christian prayers in the Book, the request that God make you an instrument is the one that God will answer fastest.

Jesus is making an important promise: When two or three (or more) of us are together in his name, we have an opportunity to love our neighbor as ourselves. This is real love, not some mushy feeling or hormonal rush: It is allowing God to make us his "instruments" and live his life through us.

Volunteering to become God's instrument sounds like a happy, innocent request, doesn't it? But it can be risky because God may need to shape us up first. For one thing, he will require us to rethink the importance of the thing that concerns us most: ourselves.

And then some of us may not be sure we're really equipped to be God's instruments. What if we're not wise enough or brave enough or spiritual enough? Well, God has promised divine help. Just remember this verse: God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him and then helping you do what he wants (Philippians 2:13 TLB). Imagine, God living within you, working within you. You can't get any closer to him than that!

God, Outdo Me in Generosity

Give and it will be given to you, full measure, pressed down, overflowing. (Luke 6:38)

God will never be outdone in generosity!

Here's how it works: As you give generously to people in need, God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others....Yes, you will be enriched so that you can give even more generously (see II Corinthians 9:8-13).

When God finds a giving heart, he will pour out generously too, because he knows he has found someone who will help him fix our broken world; someone who will become the Gospel in action and bring honor and thanks to God.

God, Get Me Through This Suffering

God will not let you be tested beyond your strength. With your trial, he will also provide you with a means of escape, so that you will be able to endure it. (I Corinthians 10:13)

This prayer is not a way out of suffering itself, but a reminder that we can count on being consoled and fortified by God--if we ask for help. That shoulder you cried on, the understanding hug, the cup of tea--all are little gifts of comfort from God.

Jesus, our high priest, understands our struggles with suffering and temptation, because he faced those things himself! So, if we ask, he will meet us with grace to help us in our time of testing (Hebrews 4:16).

You may not need this prayer right now if things are going well in your life, but never forget it. Keep it fresh in your heart, ready to use when sorrow and pain afflict your life.

God, Forgive Me

He is faithful and just to forgive our sins. (I John 1:9)

God is so gracious. But while we're rejoicing in his grace, it's a good idea to remember that there are rules, and there are consequences in our lives here and now. For instance: If I regard sin in my heart, the Lord will not hear me (Psalm 66:18).

Confession is our route around a big roadblock to answered prayer. Sin is such a serious matter to God that he gave the life of his son to set us free from it, so it pays to keep short accounts with him. He has not made that difficult to do.

Repentance isn't a time for dread. God isn't waiting to beat us up, but to set us free into his forgiveness. As we grow in Christ, and he grows in us, we won't need to repent as often, because his Holy Spirit living in us won't let us sin as comfortably as we once did. Isn't that good news?

Right now you can get honest and remove those "sin-roadblocks" to answered prayer. You can be sure you're connecting with God because he never, never turns away from a contrite heart.

God, Give Me Peace

You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3 NKJV)

Real, inner peace goes beyond emotions; it comes from focusing on God. Jesus said, "I leave you peace....My peace I give to you."

Without him we won't have the peace that takes us unshaken through life's physical and emotional earthquakes. We need the peace of faith that knows God is there, walking alongside, whispering, Trust me; I have a plan and you are going to be okay. Just keep on going.

The requirements for peace depend upon "being right" with God. That means:

>> Confession of sin so we can start over (and over) without negative baggage.
>> Forgiveness of others that frees us from the ugly stress of resentment.

Then we're ready for God to move in our lives and bring peace into our chaos.

God, Give Me Courage

The Lord... delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

The great Christian writer C.S. Lewis once said that "courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at its testing point, which means at the point of highest reality." Even honesty, self-control, patience and chastity take courage.

You need courage to persevere through life's difficulties, to endure suffering, to take risks, to give witness to the truth, to dare to do great things. Every time we admit our weakness and our dependency on God, we're ripe for his grace and help.

If we rely on our own courage, we're in trouble. But God's Spirit can take us triumphantly through whatever we face.

Courage is the cornerstone of the entire moral order. God is willing to distribute massive doses of supernatural grace to those of his children who are rightly disposed to him, and who ask for courage.

God, Give Me Wisdom

If anyone lacks in wisdom, let him ask God, who is always ready to give. (James 1:5)

We face lots of challenges in our world today. Just turn on the television and there they are: war, an unpredictable economy, spiraling fuel prices, new pandemic diseases. What next?

Being smart isn't enough to handle all this; we need wisdom. We need direction from someone who sees our whole life at a glance, the big picture and the intricate details, someone who knows what's coming down the road.

But wisdom isn't just knowing what God has to say; wisdom is obeying him (James 1:22). With that as our focus, we avoid pitfalls that bring us to the end of our lives realizing we've lived the whole thing "the wrong way!" God's word shows us the "right way"--the way of unselfishness that will save us and those we love a lifetime of hurt.

Do you really want to study at the school of hard knocks? You don't have to make a million mistakes or live to be 100 to learn life's great lessons. Wisdom is available to everyone, free of charge.

God, Bring Good Out of This Bad Situation

All things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

That's a wonderful Bible verse to quote and feel comforted by--except, of course, when you feel crushed by some impossible situation. Then what do you do? Quote it anyway. Tuck it into your mind and let it take root there. Then wait on God to work his redemptive purpose out of the circumstances that threaten to overwhelm you.

Sometimes God allows suffering in order to get our attention: to divert us from wrong paths; to build our faith and our courage, to help us grow strong and resilient; to make us wiser. Or to turn our bad situations into good ones.

Remember the darkest time of all: Jesus' crucifixion. In one amazing stroke of genius and grace, God turned all that suffering around--he redeemed mankind and made it possible for sins to be forgiven. In I Corinthians 2:7-8, Paul reminds us that God had a secret plan before time began: our own redemption. As Paul says, the rulers of this age--the devil and his demons--engineered the crucifixion, believing they could get rid of the Savior and foil God's plan. But their scheme backfired! They never dreamed that Jesus' death would be followed by his resurrection.

Remember, whatever you're going through, God has a "resurrection" plan for your life, too.

God, Lead Me to My Destiny

Before you were born, I consecrated you. (Jeremiah 1:5)

You came into this world a champion! Special, unique you; a miracle predetermined by God. It follows, then, that you have a unique destiny.

Your destiny is not the same as your dream. Dreams can lead you away from the destiny God has planned for you. He knows where you fit and what you can accomplish.

We're not just human beings but keys that God has individually crafted to fit certain locks. In fact, in all the world and in all of time, there has been only one that has the ability to open one particular lock. That's you.

The lock you've been designed to open is your destiny. What's important to remember is that the person who achieves greater in heaven is the one with a servant's heart (Mark 10:34-45). That takes selflessness and love, the most God-like traits of all. So ask God to live his love out through you by the Holy Spirit within you. He'll be glad to answer that one.