Somewhere in time...

Drifting through this total confusion,
In search of something to hold on to,
some identity.
I wonder:
Is this real or just an illusion?
Is it temporary or for infinity?
I travel in search of a destination
Without a clue about my future situation.
When will I know what life holds for me?
Who will I love?
Where will I be?
The answers someday will be mine.
My future is waiting for me,
Somewhere in time.

Hmmm...I forget where I got that...I think from a TEEN magazine back in HS. Yes, I cut that out and had it laminated. Heee. It's nice to look back in time. When you think you know something at the age of 16...then realizing, now that I'm almost [gasp...heeee] 30...what I know back then were so little compared to what I know now. Back then, I wanted someone to love me. Nowadays, I still want that but I want someone to love too. Hah! Back then, I didn't have much faith in God, now, it's what I strive to have more, much more, than anything or anyone. I'm thinking, if I have God, I will be alright. Just have to keep thinking that. I will be alright. We will all be alright.

Ohkay...I just had to let that out. I. WILL. BE. ALRIGHTY. Indeed. Have a fine day. Thanks again for visiting. Keep the faith. God Bless.

Yawn...

It's past midnight right now. I'm tired sleepy. Spent my Sunday mostly in bed and I still wanna go back to bed.

More cool shirts at Team Manila, me likey.

Choose your team...hmmm...ANISTON all the way...YEAH!!! More cool shirts at Kitson.com.

I &hearts that guy. Those eyes, those lips. Imagine waking up every day seeing those eyes and lips. Yes, he's pretty special. If not for his music...NG and I will not know eachother's existence. Hmmm. Made those buttons myself btw. Had time last month and I came up with that. Will do Jomari next. Hmmm. That didn't sound right. Heee. Nevermind.

Belated birthday dinner treat last Saturday at Bellini's courtesy of Tita Tess & Engr. Arch. Dino. Yummy food. Too bad Miss M didn't get to join us.

Love is the most mysterious of all things. What it is exactly, defies words and explanations. It’s just something that exists. It perpetuates all life. It is the force that binds the stars to the sky, the force that holds the sea just barely at the shore. It is love that keeps the balance of all things.
[an excerpt from Jann Arden's latest journal entry. Read the entire post here. I love how she writes. She's one underrated artist if you ask me.]

Wala lang. This is my blog after all. Heee.

Ohkay, just trying to be cheery and all...coz my life ain't a beach right now. Heee. But I KNOW God will not give us something we can't bear. Yes, just have to keep that in mind no?

Leaving you with today's prayer:
Thank You Lord for the trials that You allow to happen in my life which serves as a platform on which You reveal Yourself, show Your love and power, both to me and to others looking on. Thank You that I can move into the future nondefensively, with hands outstretched to whatever lies ahead, for You hold the future and You will always be with me, even to my old age ... and through all eternity. [Isaiah 46:4]

Have a fine week to you. Thanks again for visiting. Let's always be faithful in everything we do. Rather a bit tough at times but I know God will be with us no? That's one comfort knowing. God Bless us always.

At home on Halloween...

This site is like a drug. Must see every Sunday. Reading other people's secret is kinda comforting [in a way]. Knowing that some of their secrets mirrored mine.

I've never celebrated Halloween, it's really not a big deal around here anyways, well, at least for me it's not. Heee. Costumes party, you have to spend on that. Halloween gigs, you have to spend on that. I've no extra to spend on unnecessary stuff. Halloween at home = Sleeping, now, you don't have to spend a centavo on that. FREEEEEE. I love sleeping, need I say more?

Played an hour of badminton with MrsF, one of my HS friends, the others didn't show. What's new? Heee. I'm quite used to it. Though, sometimes it gets annoying when they don't even reply to my text messages and say: I can't make it. Grrrr. It annoys me at times, especially when I have my period which I still have. Benchlady texted earlier and gave me a new number, she sprained her arm a few weeks ago, so, she can't play nowadays. Marilyn [not her real name...heeee...but we like calling her that] still hasn't replied. She could be busy and all, though, I know she has two phones. Hee. Back on the game, MrsF won a set, then I got the second [YAY, I'm actually winning now...], the third decided set we didn't get to finish because our time was up. Though, MrsF was leading 12-10. Either way, it was a good hour of badminton. If only I could have someone to play with on a more regular basis.

My HS friends have known me the longest. We've spent lotsa times watching those horror movies at home every quarterly exams. We have shortened classes and we'd spend the rest of the day at home watching those movies. Night of the Living Dead is a fave. They just like to scream. Heee. I've never been fond of watching those kinds of movies. Not for me but since the majority wanted that, then that's what we rented. Majority wins with us. One time in our senior year, we all watched our first [well, at least for most of us] porn. Heee. That was fun. We watched or some covered their eyes [but still peeking thru their fingers] with lotsa ewwwwws and ano ba yan in fast forward motion. Because REALLY, how long can the foreplay or whatever that was last no? I've only seen 2 porn movies so far. One was quite recent. Will leave it at that. Hee. It's like, what is there to see after seeing one or two no? Most men love porn for some reason. I know a couple of guys who enjoy it. Can I say my HS Batchmates? They sometimes forget there are female members on our batch yahoogroup. I wonder if my HS crush loves to watch porn too.

I spent Friday night/early Saturday with EBC at Miss M's place. Watched episodes 3-5 of LOST. Man, that show is GOOOOOOD. I was nodding on and off during episode 5. Heee. Food was great as always. In between eating, we were still eating. Hah!!! We have different alerts in our lives and we all needed that get-together. We draw strength knowing we have eachother.[this pic was taken during our Sept.30/Oct1 Food Session]

I feel blessed having my friends. I hope they feel the same way about having me too. I don't know, sometimes, our friends can be so comfy with us that they forget that we need to hear something like that once in awhile. I have a few sets of really good friends and I know that I can rely on them if the need arises. That's a comfort knowing no? That, no matter what, one or a few friends will be there for you. Just like Ross, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, Monica and Phoebe will ALWAYS be there for us. [I just had to add that.]

Ohhhkay...me thinks that's enough for today. Will go and play Chainz, hopefully, I can get move up to level 5. Level 4 is not easy. Have a fine Halloween to all, if you're into that. Thanks again for visiting. Keep the faith. God Bless us all.

Killing time...

It's a hot Wednesday morning. Just finished some paperwork and will go to our client's office in a bit. Hopefully, the wait will not be a long time. I get sleepy when I wait. Hee.

It's been quite an easy few days at work. No complaints really. It's better than no work no? Indeed. I'm grateful that I have work eventhough it doesn't pay much and the fact that I don't like it, it's still work. My Uncle Boss is a nice person so, that's the good part.

Might have another LOST marathon this Friday at Miss M's house if everyall will be available. Yay. Sawyer. Keeping my fingers crossed. My friends and I need a little reel distraction from our real lives.

Who doesn't need a distraction from their lives once in a while no? Whatever it is, I'm not giving up just yet, though sometimes, I feel like giving up but what will it accomplish if I give up? The money will not come if I give up. Oh well. Tough. Maybe, I should start betting on the lottery? Hmmm...

Yes, money is still an issue here at home. Sigh. My sisters have been working outside the country for a few months now but it's not easing up just yet. SIGH. Being the eldest, I somewhat feel responsible to do something about it. But I can only do so much. I wish I can do more. Been praying about it. Been thinking of having a weekend side job but what can I get? Not much opportunities around here. Still praying on that.

I am thankful to God that I don't get sick or my family doesn't get sick coz we just can't afford to get sick right now. We still haven't fully settled the expenses during my father's heart bypass a few years ago. Sigh. It makes me mad that after my father's operation and all that, he still smokes those damn cigarettes. SIGH. I dunno. I am tired of reminding him to quit. Just praying about that.

Since, we're experiencing money probs, the more I am getting annoyed of having Lyn around here. I KNOW, it's not her fault, it's my mother's. She wants to help but she doesn't have the means. I really get annoyed whenever she asks me money coz Lyn needs this and that. God forgive me BUT I am not a cheerful giver when it comes to that. SIGH.

I don't know what my Mom was thinking when she took Lyn here. I mean. REALLY. I haven't talked to her about that coz I don't talk much around here. I'm really not happy about her being here. And the fact that she stays in the same room that I'm in. Well, I'd rather be alone really. Before, I even tried objecting to her staying in the same room I'm in..but my Mom went on and on and on about Lyn will not be in the way. Blah blah blah REALLY.

Oh well, I'm a good person, I know that but I'm not a saint. I get annoyed too. I get mad too. SIGH. I just blog about it tho because I can never tell it to my mom. Hah!

That's why whenever I'm at home, I am in bed sleeping and trying to forget about it. Easier that way. Don't disturb me.

Hmmmm...that feels good...letting all those out. SIGH.

Will end this one for now, me thinks, I've said enough for the time being.

Also, someone texted and asked me if I was married already. HAH! I know the person was fishing, we're not that close so, didn't said much. And besides, there's not much to tell. Jomari still hasn't asked me. HaH! A gurl could always dream about being Mrs. Jomari. Speaking of Jom, saw him on TV the other night, man, he's gain some weight, BUT I still lovelike him. I still lovey his lips, his eyes...heee..I can go on and on with this but will stop for now. I still have to update my Jomari site as soon as I have more time.

Not much time nowadays. Some other guy has been keeping me busy online. Hmmmm. Will leave it at that. We actually had a pretty good weekend after a few weeks of a bit-tension-filled weekends. It will not be the same as it used to be before September but at least, it's getting better nowadays.

Compromise is necessary to get what you want -- especially in relationships.

Must go for now. Thanks again for visiting. Have a fine Wednesday ya'll. Let's keep our faiths in everything we do eventhough there are times that we feel like giving up. God Bless.

Thursday...

Light work days for today and hopefully until tomorrow. Heee. Our client's shipments are still sailing away, so to speak. I'm just relaxing here.

The quick daily morning chat with NG ended an hour ago. I'm waiting for a game download to finish [wishing I have faster internet connections...tsk tsk tsk for now on that] then I will get outta here and sample the game. Freebies on the net. Gotta love those.

Slept around 4pm-ish yesterday, then got up around 11pm-ish, played an offline game called Chainz 2 Relinked. Heee. The games I download are mostly of the same theme, zapping three of the same kind characters, imagine Snood. Yep, I miss that game. I used to have it. Maybe, I should look for that again. Why not?

Went back to bed around 1am-ish, was up again at 430am-ish to reply to NG's mails, yes, the mails are still going on and on. Averaging on 20 mails each day. We have a break on mails every Sunday. No mails. Just chat. Works out fine. So far, been ok, considering the kind of set-up we're in.

Okay, gotta get outta here, I just got a text message from Uncle Boss, looks like I have to go somewhere after all. Heee. The download is finish, will just play Ricochet Recharged when I get home.

Leaving you with the prayer for today:
Lord God, today I commit to You my present location and situation. May you guide me throughout this life to just be where You want me to be, as I seek to do Your will. You are my dwelling place and I rest under the shadow of Your wings. [Psalms 37:5; Deuteronomy 1:33]

No one is hopeless whose hope is in God. [nice one yes? That's from yesterday's Dailybread...such comforting words...indeed.]

Thanks again for visiting. Let's all keep our faiths in everything we do. Have a fine day. God Bless.