Blast from the past...
To: vikkicar@yahoo.com
Subject: Big 3-0
From: "FutureMe.org"
Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2006 05:00:01 -0500

(The following is an e-mail from the past, composed on Sunday, June 13, 2004, and sent via FutureMe.org)

I stumbled upon this site thru a blog I read on a regular basis. Why not make an email to me for the future right? Kinda freaky but let's see how I'd feel when I receive this on the intended date.

You're 30 today. Are you feeling it? If all worked as planned. You'll be with Someone. Somewhere. Somehow. Could be the biggest gesture you'd ever make. You've been anticipating for this day. It marks an end and a beginning for you. Are you happy today? Did you get to know God as you wanted a few years back? Do you still read blogs? Are you still inlove with him? Or with someone else? You want to taste some other alcoholiquids when you hit this age, will you still do it? Godbless You.

V

WOW. What can I say to this? When I saw the subject line on my inbox, I was like...hmmm...yeah...so, the website lived up to its name afterall. I don't quite remember from which blog I got the link of Future Me from but I do remember around that time, thinking, that it was a cool idea to write your future self. Which what I did. Wrote myself intended for my 30th. A few days ago, I turned 30.

WOW. I'm still absorbing this fact in my life. I'm 30. Though, I'm not gonna ask "Why God? Why?...," it's been a good comfy 30 years of existence, some down moments but I know better now that those down moments [past and the ones to come] has made [and will make] me a better person.

I wanna humor myself and answer the questions I posted back in June 2004...I have to say, the people behind the website are impressive. Heee. Okay...let's get on with my questions to myself ...

You're 30 today. Are you feeling it?
Hmmm...I feel more pressure is upon me now that I'm 30. Though, at the same time, I feel like I can do whatever I want since I'm now 30. So, basically, being 30, can work for and against me. Heee.

If all worked as planned. You'll be with Someone. Somewhere. Somehow. Could be the biggest gesture you'd ever make.
Okay, I think, I remember who and what and where I'm talking about on this one. It was D [someone I met online back in the day from one of the groups I was in, a FRIENDS group me thinks...], we hardly chat or anything, we just catch up via email once in a while, and on one of our rare chats, we sort of made a promise that if neither of us is seeing someone or with someone when I reach 30, we'd meet somewhere and just spend time getting to know eachother and exploring the possibility of us. I still have him on my list, we don't get to catch eachother online anymore, though, since I'm always online on my YM, he says hi once in a while, he greeted me on my 30th, which actually surprised me that he remembered. He's now a daddy, I'm now with NG. So, in the grand scheme of things, I'd say, we're both happy. I pray that he is.

Are you happy today?
That I am. Looking back, I had a few down moments in my life but generally speaking, my life has been comfortable. I just didn't acknowledge it for years but now that I'm seeing it from a different mind set and I stopped blaming myself for what happened to me before, I have never been more happier. I don't have a 100% peace of mind about my past but I'm moving on. Grabbing as many spoons as possible.

Did you get to know God as you wanted a few years back?
YES. It's the greatest and mostest thing that has ever happened to me. Getting to know Him and just letting Him back in my life. It's all falling into the right places. One day at a time. I am a blessed person. More than I thought I could ever be.

Do you still read blogs?
That would be a resounding YES.

Are you still in-love with him?
Ohkay, I think, I was referring to G [the guy who thought I loved and loved me back...wheee...] on this one...they say first love never dies...but mine has been dead for years now. I mean, the feeling, not the guy I fell inlove [or I thought I did] with years and years ago. I think, he's still alive though I hope he's not being unfaithful to his wife [or to whomever he is with] now. I pray for him, he needs it.

Or with someone else?
Yes, I am in-love with someone else. It it actually a good feeling when reciprocated.

You want to taste some other alcoholiquids?
Well...aside from AbCoke, I had a pitcher of zombie [which NG said tasted like Koolaid] all by myself last Wednesday night. I'm so proud of me. Heee.

Will you still do it?
I was referring to doing the deed with D on this one. And I just wanna whack myself in the head for entertaining the thought of doing it in the first place. What was I thinking? I know better now. I'm not gonna score until after I say I DO. Yes, it can wait. It's just an icing on the cake. I KNOW, I can wait. I just pray that the guy I'm gonna be marrying can keep his promise that he'd wait for me too.

Okay, me thinks, I will write to my future self again. Hmmm. I'm gonna send it for my 35th. That's bound to be cool. You should give it a try.

I guess, that'll be it for now...need to catch a few zzzz before heading to the beach with NG. Oh yeah, NG's here since the 12th. He was here for our 14th month. He was here for my 30th. No complaints so far, even if he snores from time to time. Heee.

Thanks again for visiting. Will post pictures next time. Keep the faith and God Bless.